Kolchak / X-Files / Back to the Future Cross-over
Kolchak learns that the Kennedys have a werewolf gene that skips a generation and there’s a trio of werewolves stalking 1983 Washington DC.
Doc Brown goes to his blacksmith shop in 1885 and makes a shitload of silver bullets then plucks Sirhan Sirhan from the timestream to help.
Mulder can’t decide whether to stop the werewolf Kennedys or look the other way while they kill more Republicans.
Old Biff goes to the grave of George McFly and cries for forgiveness. Lo and behold, McFly has been alive this whole time!
Kolchak tapes McFly confess to Old Biff that the sci-fi religion he invented is taking over the government and they want Nixon on the ballot
The bloodthirsty Sirhan Sirhan escapes from the time machine and Doc Brown seeks help from an unlikely source: Deep Throat!
Sirhan Sirhan enlists the aid of John Hinckley Jr, not knowing the Hinckley is a high-ranking Spacetimeologist who reports directly to McFly
Marty McFly, while in the tree peering in Mulder’s window, loses his balance and almost gets run over by the ghost of Scully’s father!
Scully’s father explains to Marty that the mysticism of Spacetimeology is real but misunderstood. Principal Strickland is also a Lizard Man
That’s part one of my X-Files / Back to the Future / Kolchak story. Give me the gig, IDW.
Deep Throat tells Kolchak where in the Pentagon to find the secret file on the Lizard Men weapons. On the way Carl runs into Lorraine Baines
Marty McFly wakes up and doesn’t know where he is. The Lone Gunmen have examined his undershorts.
Doc Brown and Mulder are on the trail of the Werewolf Kennedys. They’re hiding in an unlikely place–the home of the elderly Marilyn Monroe!
Oops, I forgot that Lee Harvey Oswald and the Smoking Man assassinated Werewolf JFK last week.
Kolchak calls up Vincenzo with the story of Lizard Men & Werewolf Kennedys & time machine. Vincenzo yells at him and kills the story.
Kolchak shows up at FBI headquarters and asks Skinner a bunch of crazy questions. Old Biff is sneaking around the FBI lobby.
Mulder is locked inside JC Penney’s and can’t stop the Libyans from killing Doc Brown, but then he sees Marty show up again and it’s OK.
Mulder’s cellular telephone is inside the DeLorean in 2015 so Scully can’t get in touch with him to find out what’s going on.
Casino Biff is trying to get Vincenzo to do a big story on him. John Doggett has them both under surveillance.
Kolchak helps 3 Lorraine Baines clones escape from the Pentagon. They say the secret of the Kennedy Werewolves is linked to Needles‘ past.
The Ghost of Scully’s Father, The Lone Gunmen and Marty McFly go to the mall where they run into the Dave McFly of 2035. It’s a mess.
Sirhan Sirhan is hot on the trail of Werewolf RFK when he’s visited by Casino Biff. Kolchak photographs John Doggett recording their meeting
Kolchak disguises himself as a busboy to gain entry into the exclusive club where the Well-Manicured Man and Agent Scully are having lunch.
I think I’ll turn my X-Files/Kolchak/BTTF fan fiction into a slide presentation for a future live comics reading event.
Mulder, in the old warehouse, gets in a shootout with Sirhan Sirhan while trying to protect the wounded Werewolf RFK. Sirhan is killed.
In Sirhan Sirhan’s shirt pocket Mulder finds a cryptic note with the letters MDC written on it beside a drawing of a arrow-pierced heart.
Kolchak shows up with a 2-by-4 that’s been whittled to a sharp point and announces that he must kill Werewolf RFK for the sake of the nation
Scully shows up and points her gun at Kolchak and proclaims that she must protect Werewolf RFK for the sake of the nation.
Doc Brown shows up and says he witnessed his own death at the hands of Skinner & Vincenzo. He needs Mulder & Scully to help him find Needles
Marty McFly, The Lone Gunmen and the Ghost of Scully’s Father are on the bridge at Chappaquiddick. Something spooky is going on.
Mulder goes back to his apartment and puts the tape on the window. Vice-President Goldie Wilson is in his car across the street watching.
Kolchak gives William Scully fifty bucks to cover the flower show for him, not knowing that W Scully is dangerously irradiated — or is he?
MR. X has already given MDC a book collecting all of JD Salinger’s unpublished works & New Yorker pieces in exchange for his cooperation.
Marty McFly and the gang witness Casino Biff arrive and wade into the channel at Chappaquiddick. Doggett & Reyes are nearby, about to kiss.
The Smoking Man has just finished burying Lee Harvey Oswald in the abandoned drive-in theater in Hill Valley. Marty’s mom’s car broke down.
Mulder tells Mark David Chapman that Sirhan Sirhan had a huge crush on him before he was killed. MDC starts crying. Kolchak gets it on tape.
Kolchak returns to his office and finds that The First Elder put dog poop in his top desk drawer. Vincenzo acts like he doesnt know anything
The aged Marilyn Monroe steps out of the shower to see Werewolf Ted Kennedy drive off with Doug Needles and a mysterious stranger.
Mulder is having a blast profiling a serial killer when his hand starts to disappear. The “I WANT TO BELIEVE” poster becomes “HANG IN THERE”
The Smoking Man is waiting for the Warren Commission report to come off the fax when Stickland shows up to kill him.
Strickland is reduced to a white foam by the Smoking Man. Outside, Kolchak argues with a meter maid.
Doc Brown has begun an illicit affair with Mulder’s mother. Brown proudly pats the hood of his time traveling car.
George McFly contacts Agent Scully to begin the secret religious indoctrination process. Old Biff gets the keys to her mailbox.
The Shape-Shifter Aliens have a device that can detect the ectoplasm that the Ghost of Scully’s Father is secreting in the Lone Gunmen’s van.
The Ghost of Scully’s Father introduces Marty to the Ghost of Scully’s Sister. Marty’s smitten even though she looks like his daughter.
Doc Brown becomes the first person in Hill Valley to get dial-up internet. Newspaper headline reads “EMMETT BROWN CONNECTED.”
A by now only partially-visible Mulder implores Scully & Marty to go back in time and get Doc Brown off his mother so he can one day be born.
Kolchak disguises himself as a busboy to gain entry into the Bohemian Grove in order to photograph Goldie Wilson who is really a Lizard Man.
The three escaped Lorraine Baines clones have each fallen in love with a different member of the Lone Gunmen. The Gunmen are quite pleased. #
As Doc Brown and Mrs. Mulder are sharing a passionate embrace Agent Scully shows up and commands “Get your damn hands off her!” #
Mulder questions Doc Brown on the “88 mph to travel through time” thing. Shouldn’t it at least be miles per second? Sounds bogus. #
Mark David Chapman, using a map provided to him by Woodward & Bernstein, enters The Well-Manicured Man’s walk-in humidor. A trapdoor opens! #
Also among the waitstaff at the Bohemian Grove is Alex Krychek who is nefariously mixing drinks for the Kennedy family and VP Goldie Wilson. #
The Lone Gunmen bathe in the cloned blood of a teen-aged Lorraine Baines. Marty McFly watches in horror. #
Marty borrows Kolchak’s tape recorder and tapes over an important supernatural/paranormal story with a bunch of shitty demos. #
Mulder has a flashback to his sister’s abduction: Darth Vader is present and Van Halen is playing. Kolchak can’t find his tape recorder. #
The Lizard Men of the Bilderberg Group feast on the body of a Shape-Shifter Alien, hoping to absorb his awesome powers. G. McFly laughs. #
Casino Biff calls up Skinner and threatens Skinner’s ex-wife. Skinner orders a truckload of manure to be delivered to the Biff Tannen Museum. #
TO BE CONTINUED…